Pre-War Dreams
by Kailey.Dawn.Shannahan
Summary: Phoenix, Mikey, Brendan, Ray, Anya, Jessie and James live in the small town of Gander. It's surrounded by a large wall, protecting the children from the Wasteland. Today is a special day. Today is the day they embark on the journey of a lifetime into the Wastes. None of them can even begin to understand how much this one day will change their lies forever.


"Hey, Nix!"

A little red haired girl looked up from her drawing in the dirt. "What do you want, Mikey?"

The boy grinned. He moved the shaggy, dark hair out of his eyes. They were bright and excited.

"Pop is gonna take us out into the Wasteland today!" he said, bouncing up and down. He had always wanted to see what was on the other side of the wall. They had heard the scary stories from the traders and their older siblings. They always said that they shouldn't ever go out there, especially alone.

Phoenix frowned, "Do you really mean it? Or are you making up stories again?"

"I wouldn't just make that shit up. We are finally old enough! Well, as long as your dad says it's okay…" Mikey looked down at the dirt. Her father was always a touchy subject. He was very protective of his only child. Ever since her mother died, he never let Phoenix out of his sight. Another little boy made his way over to them. His clothes were tattered and worn out, even more than the other kids.

"Nix, are you gonna go with us to the Wasteland?" the other boy quietly asked. He was kicking his feet in the dirt. "My momma said that it was time for all of us to the see it, now that you're old enough, too," he continued never breaking his stare from the ground.

"See, Nix? Even Brendan is going. I heard that Jessie and James are going too," said Mikey, putting extra emphasis on Jessie's name. Brendan's train of thought stopped. He had always had a crush on Jessie. She wore her long blonde hair in braids with little ribbons on the end. Mikey always teased him about it. Brendan's face grew hot with embarrassment.

"Shut up, jerk," whispered Brendan. His big blue eyes started to water. He blinked away the tears. The kids always picked on him. He was the smallest and the poorest. He looked around the old town. The old damaged shacks had seen far better days. His eyes jumped from building to building. There wasn't a lot here just the grocery store, Elliot's shop, the bar, and the old diner. He looked up to the wall surrounding their shacks. The wall, the symbol of their little town stood tall and raggedy. Gander wasn't big or heavily populated. There were only a handful of kids. Nobody ever came to visit that wasn't a trader. They didn't have much to offer. Most of the big kids left when they turned eighteen. He glanced at Jessie's house. Her and James' house was the biggest. They had the most money. The smallest house was his. It was closest to the door. He always wished that he could have a big house, just like Jessie. Maybe then she would care about him.

"Mikey, will you be nice to him, please?" Phoenix groaned. "Besides we don't even know if I can go. My dad doesn't like me talking to the traders, let alone the thought of me going out to the Wasteland." A shadow cast over her drawing. She looked up and saw her father. Jack was a big, burly man. He had a bushy beard that covered most of his face. The stern look on his face said everything.

"Phoenix, you are going to accompany all of your little friends on the journey to the Wasteland. I hope that you understand the dangers of everything on the outside of these walls," he said staring at his only daughter. He turned to look at Mikey "I never want to see you teasing anybody ever again. Do I make myself clear?" Mikey nodded quickly. "Good." Her father turned and walked slowly away.

"Dude, your dad scares the piss out of me," Mikey said grinning sheepishly. Phoenix smiled back. Mikey sat down with her and started drawing pictures with her. Brendan didn't really want to draw. He liked to write, though. He remembered his dad coming home, when he was still alive. His dad would bring home little notebooks and pencils. He would write stories for his father. When his dad told him stories, he would write those down too. His father's job was checking abandoned buildings for survivors. The memory of his dad surrounded him. He was a small man, barely 5" 4'. He kept his hair at a crew cut. One day when he went out he just didn't come back. His mom had never given up hope. She always leaves their porch light on. The town calls her crazy. Brendan was used to it. It was just another reason he was picked on.

"Brendan, what the hell are you staring at?"

Brenan looked down. Mikey was looking at him. "Are you spacing off again or what?" Mikey said.

Brendan hastily sat down._ Great, now another reason to think I'm a freak_. He sighed. _I'm not a freak. Am I? _Brendan's thoughts were racing. He looked at Phoenix's drawings. She drew little people. He figured the tall lady was supposed to be her mother. _She never talks about her_ _mother_ he thought. There had always been rumors about what really happened to her that night. The story was she had died in child birth. That didn't stop wild rumors from the other kids. Some had even said that a group of mutants had smelled the blood and taken her. Brendan cringed_. What an awful way to go._ He looked back at the drawings. She had added a little house next to them. The oldest kids had talked about real houses, before they left. They were made of wood and bricks. They lasted for years and years. It seemed so farfetched to him at the time. Eventually Brendan joined them. They drew well into the morning.

The other kids started coming over after that. Jessie came over first with her twin brother, James. The only thing similar about them was their blonde hair and hazel eyes. On a scale of personality, James was quiet and shy and Jessie was loud and obnoxious. Jessie was wearing her blue checkered dress and James had a shirt to match with a pair of worn out jeans. Phoenix never talked to either one of them. Brendan looked over at Jessie nervously. He hoped she would notice him, but she was too interested in playing with her hair.

"What are you doing?" asked Jessie. She nudged Mikey with her worn out sneaker. She flashed an overly enthusiastic smile. Mikey didn't look up. He didn't even acknowledge her existence. He always thought she was just a stupid girl. Brendan watched the little display. "Humph," Jessie grumbled "You're no fun." Brendan moved to say something, but backed down. Jessie had already begun playing with James.

A tall boy started making his way over to the group. His curly hair frizzed all over the place. A little brunette followed closely behind. She stood very closely by the boy. She would peek around his long figure every now and again. The boy playfully tousled her hair. He saw Phoenix and smiled.

"Hey, Nix. Are you going with us, too?" the boy asked.

Phoenix laughed "Of course, Ray. I wouldn't miss it for the world." She looked at the little girl "Hey, Anya. How are you today?"

The little girl refused to look up. She dug her shoe in the dirt. "Good," she mumbled. She was the boys make shift little sister. She didn't have anybody. He had always protected her like she was his own. There wasn't too much of an age difference, she was just small. She had had health problems in the past, mostly asthma related. The radiation didn't help her. She couldn't go very far without her medicine. She barely leaves her home. Her mother and father had left her here. They couldn't take care of her. They were wandering traders and the burden of an unhealthy baby was too much to bear. Ray's family took her in. "When are we going?" Anya whispered.

Brendan looked up from his drawing. _They're letting Anya go? She's too little for that. She's littler than me _he thought. He looked at her small frame. She was wearing her favorite dress. Ray's mother had made it special for her. She had always wanted a daughter. It was white with little yellow flowers sewn into it. There was a glint of excitement behind her big blue-green eyes. Brendan looked at her closely. He had a way of reading others emotions.

"We are supposed to go as soon as my pop gets here," Mikey answered "Are any of your parents coming?"

Jessie piped up, "Well, my daddy's comin' too." She smiled with a look of pure smugness. Mikey looked at her with disgust.

"Congrats," he muttered. Two large men approached the group. Mikey looked up and grinned. A large, muscular man picked Mikey up and wrapped him in a bear hug. He laughed heartily. The other man stood silently.

"About time you get here, Pop. We've been waiting all day," Mikey said enthusiastically.

"This isn't a game," the other man said. His name was Tim. He stood about 6" 8'. He was the twins' father, cruel man. He was nice only to his daughter. His son didn't get that privilege. Mikey looked away from his angry glare. Tim seemed to stare into his very soul. "You hearin' me, boy?" he asked.

"I hear ya, Mr. Tim, sir. I'm sorry. I'm s-sorry," Mikey muttered.

"You had better damn well be sorry. Listen here, boy." He grabbed the collar of Mikey's shirt. "This is serious stuff you're gonna be gettin' into. You know the kinds of shit I've seen?" he asked. "I've watched people die out there." He pushed the small boy away. He moved his glance from child to child. He stopped on Brendan. "Your daddy was probably another victim of the Wastes, kid." Brendan's heart stopped. Every memory of his father flashed through his mind in an instant, the talks on the porch, the time they had a picnic in the center of town, the night he didn't come home.

_"Now don't worry, Brendan. He must just be running late," momma said._

_"But momma, he aint never late. I wanna go look for him," She whipped around glaring, eyes hot as coals._

_"You will not leave this house, young man," she yelled through gritted teeth. Brendan backed down. "It's fine. Everything is fine. I'll leave the light on. I'll tell Clark and Elliot he aint come home yet. Everything is fine…" she trailed off. She left the house in a panic. Brendan moved to the window. He never moved from that spot. He watched and waited, but daddy never came back. _He could feel the sting of tears in his eyes. He looked away from Tim's harsh gaze.  
"Hey, don't bring his dad into this. It aint got nothin' to do with this." Mikey's dad stepped in. Brendan was holding back tears. He looked away from the group. _Don't let her see me cry, please. Please don't look at me. Please. _A tear rolled down his cheek. He bore the pitied looks in silence. Mikey's father stooped down next to Brendan.

"Listen, Tim don't mean nothin'. He's trying to prove a point. Doin' a terrible job, but he's tryin'," He whispered. "Now don't you worry about your daddy none. He was a brave man, your daddy. He did jobs that nobody else wanted to do. You know what?" Brendan stared at the ground, silent tears running down his face.

"No, I don't know. I don't know much, Mr. Clark," Brendan mumbled.

"You are going to be just like your daddy, Brendan. Never forget that."

"Do you really mean that?"

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't, son."

He stood up and looked at the children again. "Now, Tim is right about the dangers of the Wastes." He looked at Phoenix. "I'm not tryin' to scare you with these stories, but they aint just stories. Gather round kids and get comfortable. I'm going to tell you what you need to know. We'll leave about one o'clock. Sound fair?" he asked. The children nodded. They sat in a circle around the two men. Jessie sat next to Mikey and smiled. He rolled his eyes and looked away.

"Everybody settled?" Clark asked.

"Good," Tim said, "The Wastes are nothing to joke about. Do you know what's out there? No, you don't. You kids know Elliot. Do you know what he is?" The kids stared up at him silently. "He is what we call a ghoul. Now, that don't mean there's something wrong with him. He's just a little… eh… 'Sick' is all."

In all reality, sick didn't begin to cover what ghouls were. When the bombs were dropped there was a certain kind of radiation that only affected certain people. It caused their skin to fall off or just plain rot. They looked like walking dead. Because of this, many people treated them like dirt. Elliot was a lucky one. Brendan's father had found him in the Wastes. As it turns out he knew quite a bit about engineering and tinkering with all kinds of stuff. He was more useful than anybody could have predicted. He was a sweet man as well, if you could get past his looks.

"Now, the ghouls out there aren't like Elliot. They don't give you treats if you help him around the shop. They… They don't think right anymore. Now, you know that Elliot is just like the rest of us on the inside. That isn't the case with the ghouls out there. They're wild now, feral. Well, they just go after you. They swing their arms at you and try to bite you. Those aren't even the worst thing you can run into. There are mutants. You wanna know what those are?" The kids nodded their heads. Phoenix stared up at Tim.

"Is that what got mom?" she asked. Tim stopped in his tracks. He looked down at her.

"You are asking something that you may not be ready to hear. You're only 10. Now, you tell me Phoenix. Do you think you are you ready to know what happened to your momma?" Tim asked, praying she would drop it.

"I want to know what happened to my mom. I want to know," she said. She never broke eye contact. Tim sighed. He looked at Clark for some kind of approval. He shrugged.

"It's your call, Tim," Clark muttered. Tim looked back down to Phoenix.

"Don't tell your daddy. You ask him first before you bring it up, you hear?" Phoenix nodded. "On the night that you were born, your momma had lost a lot of blood. Do you understand that?" She nodded again. "She was very weak. Bringing you into the world was no easy task. Blood has a smell, you know that. Well, nobody knows where the muties came from. We only know they really like to hunt things. People are some of the things they hunt. I know that's scary, but it's the truth. The sooner you know the better off we will be." He looked around at the other kids. They were looking up at him, various stages of fear showing in their young, inexperienced eyes. "The night that you were born, the smell of the blood attracted a group of muties. These… these ones were different. I was there that night. There were so many. Now, before this we didn't have a wall around the town. All we had was just the town and a barbed wire fence. That aint stopping jack shit. There was at least a dozen. Them things take a lot to go down, you know. Anyways… your momma… she was bleedin' pretty heavy. Chase took you into the safe room after we heard the screams. Your daddy picked your momma up to try to take her there with ya."

He knelt down to Phoenix's level. Her eyes fixed on his. He continued. "He wasn't fast enough… They broke through the wall and I mean broke through the wall. It was awful. It wasn't built to withstand muties. We shot 'em up pretty good, but there were so damn many. Then there was the brute, oh, that mother fucking brute. He knocked down Jennings…" He shuddered, "I'm not gonna go into detail with Jennings. You are too young for that one. But he knew that the one he was lookin' for wasn't in there no more. He screeched so loud. He took off after your daddy. We tried to stop 'em, we really did. But we had four or five more muties to deal with in the room. Clark went after the brute. He was screamin' at your daddy, tryin' to warn him. Chase already had you in the safe room. Your daddy was so damn close. Clark kept shooting and it wouldn't go down. It wouldn't go down… The brute ran up to him and grabbed your momma by the hair. Your daddy tried so hard to save your momma. He fought at the brute and Clark was shootin' at it. It laughed. That mother fucker was laughin', heard it back in the shack. Then it… It… It killed her. It killed her right there. I'm sorry, Phoenix. I really am," Tim trailed off, the haunting memory burning forever in his mind.

"I think that's enough, Tim," Clark muttered. "I think that should be enough for you to understand how dangerous it is out there, kids. It'll be all right with us there. You know that. You feel safe with us?" A few of the kids nodded. Anya was snuggled up to Ray. She was rocking back and forth.

"I don't wanna go! Ray, Ray, I don't wanna go! Don't make me go, Ray!" Anya cried. She had a death grip on her big brother. Tears streamed down her face. Clark picked up the little girl and held her for a bit.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. You do have to go. All of you have to go," Clark whispered soothingly.

"But I don't wanna! The mutants are gonna get me and they're gonna get Ray a-a-and I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die Mr. Clark. I don't wanna go," she sobbed. Clark held her and rocked her back and forth.

"Tim, are you sure we have to do this today?" Clark asked.

"That's a stupid ass question. We have to do it today," Tim answered. "I don't care how badly she don't wanna go. This is learning, kids. You wanna leave someday? You wanna move on with your life? I think you do. You can't live without ever leaving Gander. It's going to happen sooner or later and I'd prefer to do it sooner."

"Let's head out then,"

"NO! MR. CLARK! I DON'T WANT TO GO!" Anya shrieked, beating at Clark with all of her strength. He struggled to hold on to the little girl. She was stronger than she looked.

"Mr. Clark, let me talk to her," Ray said. Anya continued to struggle, sobbing uncontrollably.

"If you think you can handle it, kid, you go ahead and try," Clark said, unconvinced of Rays speaking abilities. He set Anya down and she tried to sprint away, but Ray grabbed her arm.

"Ray! The mutants! Ray, they'll get you," she sobbed. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered something in her ear. "But Ray… What if… What if they can't?" Anya cried. Ray whispered more and she stopped crying. "Okay, Ray. You have to promise."

"I promise," Ray said. He held out his pinky finger and Anya did the same. They pinky promised and hugged each other. Anya grabbed his hand. Ray looked up at Tim and Clark.

"She's ready to go, but you have to make it fast. I don't want her to change her mind," Ray said.

"Then let's go," Tim replied. Brendan looked around at the other kids. Jessie's smug smile had faded to nervousness. James' face never changed. Phoenix and Mikey exchanged looks and they held hands. Mikey could see something in their eyes. The way they looked at each other said something more, but Brendan couldn't quite read it. Phoenix looked over to him. Her green eyes showed a look of pure fear. She extended her hand and he took it. Mikey nodded at him. Brendan nodded back. Ray and Anya held hands as well. The small children looked up to the men. Clark's heart broke a little inside. _Why couldn't they have been born into an easier world? _He asked himself. _They don't deserve this. _Tim and Clark exchanged a glance. He picked up his backpack and led the children to the door. They were greeted by the Robo-Guard that Elliot had fixed up. He had seen far better days. His torso was falling apart and he was missing a head plate, but he got the job done. They nicknamed him Bud.

"How are you today, children?" the guard asked, leaving a slight pause after each word. None of them spoke. Phoenix nodded slowly.

"They're a little nervous, Bud," Clark replied.

"Are you leaving to the Wasteland, Clark?"

"Yes, Bud, we are going to show the kids what they need to know,"

"Good luck, children," the guard said. He made his way to the lock mechanism. A large crank began to turn, moving the rusty gears. The sound was almost unbearable. Brendan grimaced.

"Do not worry, Brendan. It only lasts a little bit while," Bud said. Brendan looked up at the robot. Gears turned in his head as well. He wondered how the robot worked, even after all of these years. He looked to the door. It was made of scrap metal, as most of Gander was. It slowly lifted revealing more and more of the outside. Brendan's stomach turned. Phoenix squeezed his hand reassuringly. He smiled to himself. The door stopped.

"May the Lord be with you." Bud said. Tim tipped his hat to the old robot. Clark nudged the kids along, Jessie being the slowest. Brendan looked at her. She was the most terrified out of all of them. Even Anya had calmed down. Brendan offered his hand to her. She didn't even notice him.

"Psst, hey, Brendan," Mikey whispered. Brendan looked over to him, waiting for a response. "Don't worry about her, she's a dumb broad," Mikey said. He grinned "Besides, we got Nix right here." Brendan smiled at him. The three of them walked in the front. They had never been so afraid and never felt so free at the same time. Ray and Anya followed closely behind and Jessie and James at the rear. Clark continued to nudge Jessie along. Then they heard the gears grinding again and the door closing. _This is it. _Brendan thought. _Today, I grow up._


End file.
